how to stay sane when everyting around you breaks
How to stay sane when everything around you breaks…
During my divorce I experienced a lot of fear. My world felt apart. Everything I knew turned up side down, everything I related to looked and felt different. I was shitting my pants!Even though it was my own choice, I was terrified to change the life I lived. I did not have a clever plan, savings or anything around me that made me feel safe. I had me, myself and my children. And very good friends who supported me every step on my way. Also when they didn’t have the energy to do so, they did.
I learned to hold on to trust. To trust that life wil guide me and show me the way. That if I was ment to stay where I was, I would slowly have died on the inside. I trusted the universe that I had to experience the fear, the loneliness, the feeling of stepping into the unknown with only the connection to The Universe ( God ).I was so scared. Cried myself to sleep, woke up crying…
First it took forgiveness to let go of anger and pain, then the fear got down to a size that I could deal with and manage. But OMG it was so big! Step by step I could let go and take a step back, to observe myself from a distance, witch made the pattern of behavior, and the anker of my pain and fear, more clear. Forgiveness spread as a warm blanked around me and letting go felt as a relief. Slowly trust came back, into my life and into my heart. I took guts and hard work to deal with. Hunted like hell.
Twice a day, every day, I sat down and connected to God ( the universal energy) and ask for guidens, protection, strength and wisdom. My best friend taught me how to pray. Thank you, you saved my life.
This was the core of my yoga and meditation practice. This is where life showed me that everything is connected, WE are connected. Nothing happens without a reason. We are what we do and what we send out into the world. The law of karma, the habits we create and how we react to them, makes us who we are. Changing those patterns of behavior, changes who we are. And not only our own patterns matters, but those we inherit from family and generations back, are manifested in our body and mind. Knowing this, gives us the power and possibility to change it.
Yoga and mediation, choosing the spiritual path kept me sane and made me able to take care of my self and my children. My life looks completely different today. I feel much richer even though my wallet is pour. My heart is filled with gratitude. I stayed sane ( well as sane as I can be, haha), and I am living a life doing what I love, staying true to myself and being able to love and trust again. I feel strong and worthy.
Yoga is not old fashioned or for hippies only. Yoga is more a lifetime full workout, for your soul, your mind and your body. Costume made for you. It saved my life. I came home.